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Two men stand alone

Each waits on their corner

Each knowing what they need

Each begging for some help

Each has a sign

For passers by to read

One asks for food

To feed his hungry body

Another for love

To mend a wounded soul

They beg

They plead

But no one hears their cries

No one pays them mind

And so they sit

Waiting for the one who will care

To feed the hungry

To love the lost

We stand alone he and I

it’s dawn

it’s always dawn on this road

I walk to the east

hoping to catch a glimpse

    of the sun

    of the light

but it never rises

it never sets

it’s always dawn

hope for a new day

that never comes

the flowers yearn to open

and welcome the day

it’s always dawn

so I walk along on this road

never ending

never changing

dawn is all I know

a light in the woods

    catches my eye

the nymphs and fawns

    frolic and dance

dancing in glee

for they see the sun

just there

    on the horizon

so I leave this trodden road

eager to dance

    to live

        to be free

free from this ever present

   ever crushing

        dark of dawn

I glimpse the sun

    I feel the warmth

       I see the light

I dance!

two left feet and I fall

no more I see the sun

    no more it’s warmth

        no more the light

the dawn is all I see

and so the road beckons my return

I know this road

I know this dawn

a darkness that I have been part of for oh so long

the darkness that I have

will keep the light at bay

    will keep the warmth away

and so I return

   to the road that entraps

it’s always dawn

walking

    wandering

wishing I could leave

praying I could just stop my feet

but the sun never comes

the light never shines

the darkness of dawn

    binds my fee to this path

    binds my soul to this road

and so I yearn for the road

I wait for the dark

hoping for night to come

    to finally come

and end this waiting

    waiting for the light

I’ve realized something that I want to share.

I tend to be very private about some parts of my life and very vocal about other parts.

It’s weird what parts I choose to talk about and which parts I’m so ashamed of that I refuse to even acknowledge they exist to anyone outside of my head. Even with my close friends. We’ll talk about our sex lives, problems at work, problems with family, problems with each other, etc.. One thing we rarely, if ever, talk about is depression. I am depressed. I’m not like depressed all the time, it comes and goes.

My therapist suggested I try writing. So I’ve been writing lately. My last poem was one. I was very reluctant to share it with my friends or family. Hell, I didn’t even want to post it only to complete strangers. But it’s OK to talk about. I’m not the only person I know that suffers from depression, perhaps my friends can help me, and I them. But how is that going to happen if we don’t talk about it? It’s just like any other problem in my life. So that’s what I’m doing. I posted the poem online for the world to read. Even though I really don’t want to open myself up like that, I realize that for me to grow I need to open myself up like that.

Anywho, just wanted to post a little something about me and to let you all know that it’s OK to talk about your depression. And if your friends aren’t comfortable with it themselves, give them time, hopefully they’ll come around.

So I wrote this poem. It’s kinda dark, but I would love to hear your comments on it.

The Need

In the dead of night
In the pitch of black
Like and owl swoop down for the kill
It comes

It seeks to swallow and consume
Like the coiled snake waits to consume its still quivering meal
It waits and seeks out the prey it knows will be you

It feasts and feeds upon your soul
You know it eats
You know it consumes
Yet, you let it be

You watch it devour you
First your heart
Then your mind
Then your body and soul

It wants you
It needs you
It consumes you

It feeds on your body
You feel the pain
You feel its teeth sink into your flesh
Your succulent and tasty pink flesh

You love the pain this bite brings
You love the ecstasy of the pain
If feels like light in the never ending darkness
The light of this pain is all that you need
It makes you feel safe, secure, needed

And it does need you
It needs you to hurt
It needs you to weep
It needs you to bleed

The blood flows freely now
Freely from your wrist
You let it all out to feed the need
The secret need of this beast