Three Little Words
Three little words could not be so easy
Three little words to say how I feel
Three little words to warm my heart
Three little words slide so effortlessly from my lips
Three little words
I love you
I Choose
I love you.
I am in love with you.
I choose to love you.
I want to show how I feel.
I need to show you what you mean to me.
I choose to love you.
My choice scares me.
I’m afraid you can’t love me back.
I’m afraid you won’t love me back.
I’m afraid I’ll lose myself.
I’m afraid you’ll break my heart.
But still,
I love you.
I choose to love you.
Walking everywhere
Never seeing the light
I’ve searched and searched to find the light
To see the dawn that never came
Tired and exhausted
I give up
There is no light
There is no joy
I take my seat in this world of dark
Waiting for the something
Of what, I know not
But then you came
You saw me sitting and took my hand
You saw me crying and wiped my tears
On we walked
To where I could only guess
You were gentle
You were kind
My only thought was that you would keep me safe
You would keep me from harm
You would lead me to the light and warmth
I saw the sun that day
The first day I met you
It was more glorious than I thought
More radiant than I could have imagined
Warming the very depths of my heart and soul
You led me here
To this world of light
To this place of joy and peace and hope
For all that you’ve done
For all that you are
Thank you
The Broken Child
by Elia Wise
For children who were broken
it is very hard to mend……
Our pain was rarely spoken
and we hid the truth from friends.
Our parents said they loved us,
but they didn’t act that way.
They broke our hearts and stole our worth,
with the things that they would say.
We wanted them to love us.
We didn’t know what we did
to make them yell at us and hit us,
and wish we weren’t their kid.
They’d beat us up and scream at us
and blame us for their lives.
Then they’d hold us close inside their
arms and tell us confusing lies
of how they really loved us
– even though we were BAD,
and how it was OUR fault they hit us,
OUR fault that they were mad.
When days were just beginning
we sometimes prayed for them to end,
and when the pain kept coming,
we learned to just pretend
that we were good and so were they
and this was just one of those days
…tomorrow we’d be friends.
We had to believe it so.
We had nowhere else to go.
Each day that we pretended,
we replaced reality
with lies, or dreams,
or angry schemes,
in search of dignity ….
until our lies got bigger
than the truth,
and we had no one real to be
Our bodies were forsaken.
With no safe place to hide,
we learned to stop
hearing and feeling
what they did to our outsides.
We tried to make them love us,
till we hated ourselves instead,
and couldn’t see a way out,
and wished that they were dead.
We scared ourselves by thinking that
and scared ourselves to know,
that we were acting just like them
–and might ever more be so.
To be half the size of a grown-
up and trapped inside their pain….
To every day lose everything
with no savior or refrain…
To wonder how it is possible
that God could so forget
the worthy child you knew you were,
when you had not been damaged yet …
To figure on your fingers
the years till you’d be grown
enough to leave the torment
and survive away from home,
were more than you could count to,
or more than you could bear,
was the reality we lived in
and we knew it wasn’t fair.
We who grew up broken
are somewhat out of time,
struggling to mend our childhood,
when our peers are in their prime.
Where others find love and contentment,
we still often have to strive
to remember we are worthy,
and heroes just to be alive.
Some of us are healing.
some of us are stealing.
Most are passing the anger on.
Some give their lives away to drugs,
or the promise of like beyond.
Some still hide from society.
Some struggle to belong.
But all of us are wishing
the past would not hold on so long.
There’s a lot of digging down to do
to find the child within,
to love away the ugly pain
and feel innocence again.
There is forgiveness worthy of angel’s
wings for remembering those at all,
who abused our sacred childhood
and programmed us to fall.
To seek to understand them,
and how their pain became our own,
is to risk the ground we stand on
to climb the mountain home.
The journey is not so lonely
as in the past it has been …
More of us are strong enough
to let the growth begin.
But while we’re trekking up the mountain
we need everything we’ve got,
to face the adults we have become,
and all that we are not.
So when you see us weary
from the day’s internal climb …
When we find fault with your best efforts,
or treat imperfection as purposeful crime …
When you see our quick defenses,
our efforts to control,
our readiness to form a
plan of unrealistic goals …
When we run into a conflict
and fight to the bitter end,
remember ….
We think that winning means
we won’t be hurt again.
When we abandon OUR thoughts and feelings,
to be what we believe YOU want us to,
or look at trouble we’re having,
and want to blame it all on you…
When life calls for new beginnings,
and we fear they re doomed to end,
remember…
Wounded trust is like a wounded knee–
It is very hard to bend.
Please remember this
when we are out of sorts.
Tell us the truth, and be our friend.
For children who were broken…
it is very hard to mend.
It screams
Like the banshee from the north
It cries out
As a hurricane gust of wind
It begs to be released
To run the earth as it knows it must
I can hear its pain
I can see its sorrow
It’s trapped
It’s wounded
It’s alone
Louder and louder it screeches and screams
Pleading to be released
Only I hold the way out
Only I hold the key
But dare I?
Dare I free it knowing what will happen?
I know what it needs
It must be freed
Not kept in cage
It must be freed
The key is sharp
Sharper than it ought to be
The hilt of cold steel presses in my hand
I tell myself to breathe
That it will be soon be over
There is no other way
It must be set free
I touch the key to the cage
Bring it up to the lock
With on swift motion, the key is in
With one quick breath, it is finally free
The cage opens
It escapes
Down my wrist
Down my hand
Dripping from my finger tips
It pools in the sink for a moment
It finds the drain
It’s running free now
It soon is over and done
I have freed it from its despicable cage
It bids “thanks and farewell”
And asmit leaves, it sings me off to sleep
To sleep a slumber from which I will never wake
There’s a monster inside
A beast that devours all
A victim I am
A soul that he’s caught
I am ashamed
Ashamed to have fallen into this trap
Alone I cower
I shudder
I shake
I weep and I sob
Ashamed of this cage
This cage that I have made for myself
Draperies of pink
Carpets of silk
Painting of gold
This is how I hide my cage
This is how I disguise my tomb
So no one will know
None will suspect
That my house is not a home
My house is my death
But the colors they fade
The windows they crack
How long can I keep up this deceit?
Before the walls start to bleed
Before someone finds out my horrible truth
The glitter and shine
Is only skin deep
The me they know
Is not the me they think they seek
For I have worn a great mask
I have played the great part
But now the walls, this mask
Are falling apart
I try and I try
To put things back in order
But nothing can contain the cracks in this lie
Nothing, save one
Can tame the beast that lives inside
And so I write with tears of blood
That you can see
Can remember
Can feel
That a soul once dwelt here
Behind this mask
In this cage
