It's all about DrewpyDraws

So I’m not doing much of anything tonight and stumbled across an episode of The Retarded Policeman that had Wil Wheaton in it.

Man, I had such a huge crush on him when I was a kid. LOL.

Anywho, had to post the video here. Perhaps more trips down memory lane later.

I’ve realized something that I want to share.

I tend to be very private about some parts of my life and very vocal about other parts.

It’s weird what parts I choose to talk about and which parts I’m so ashamed of that I refuse to even acknowledge they exist to anyone outside of my head. Even with my close friends. We’ll talk about our sex lives, problems at work, problems with family, problems with each other, etc.. One thing we rarely, if ever, talk about is depression. I am depressed. I’m not like depressed all the time, it comes and goes.

My therapist suggested I try writing. So I’ve been writing lately. My last poem was one. I was very reluctant to share it with my friends or family. Hell, I didn’t even want to post it only to complete strangers. But it’s OK to talk about. I’m not the only person I know that suffers from depression, perhaps my friends can help me, and I them. But how is that going to happen if we don’t talk about it? It’s just like any other problem in my life. So that’s what I’m doing. I posted the poem online for the world to read. Even though I really don’t want to open myself up like that, I realize that for me to grow I need to open myself up like that.

Anywho, just wanted to post a little something about me and to let you all know that it’s OK to talk about your depression. And if your friends aren’t comfortable with it themselves, give them time, hopefully they’ll come around.

So I wrote this poem. It’s kinda dark, but I would love to hear your comments on it.

The Need

In the dead of night
In the pitch of black
Like and owl swoop down for the kill
It comes

It seeks to swallow and consume
Like the coiled snake waits to consume its still quivering meal
It waits and seeks out the prey it knows will be you

It feasts and feeds upon your soul
You know it eats
You know it consumes
Yet, you let it be

You watch it devour you
First your heart
Then your mind
Then your body and soul

It wants you
It needs you
It consumes you

It feeds on your body
You feel the pain
You feel its teeth sink into your flesh
Your succulent and tasty pink flesh

You love the pain this bite brings
You love the ecstasy of the pain
If feels like light in the never ending darkness
The light of this pain is all that you need
It makes you feel safe, secure, needed

And it does need you
It needs you to hurt
It needs you to weep
It needs you to bleed

The blood flows freely now
Freely from your wrist
You let it all out to feed the need
The secret need of this beast