Walking everywhere
Never seeing the light
I’ve searched and searched to find the light
To see the dawn that never came
Tired and exhausted
I give up
There is no light
There is no joy
I take my seat in this world of dark
Waiting for the something
Of what, I know not
But then you came
You saw me sitting and took my hand
You saw me crying and wiped my tears
On we walked
To where I could only guess
You were gentle
You were kind
My only thought was that you would keep me safe
You would keep me from harm
You would lead me to the light and warmth
I saw the sun that day
The first day I met you
It was more glorious than I thought
More radiant than I could have imagined
Warming the very depths of my heart and soul
You led me here
To this world of light
To this place of joy and peace and hope
For all that you’ve done
For all that you are
Thank you
Regardless of your political beliefs, hopefully you’ll find this funny.
DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk,
and run a hundred miles an hour
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don’t know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
You don’t milk them because you cannot touch any creature’s private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he’s French, other times he’s Flemish..
The Flemish cow won’t share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow’s milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the
black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither
Some people can’t figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
The Broken Child
by Elia Wise
For children who were broken
it is very hard to mend……
Our pain was rarely spoken
and we hid the truth from friends.
Our parents said they loved us,
but they didn’t act that way.
They broke our hearts and stole our worth,
with the things that they would say.
We wanted them to love us.
We didn’t know what we did
to make them yell at us and hit us,
and wish we weren’t their kid.
They’d beat us up and scream at us
and blame us for their lives.
Then they’d hold us close inside their
arms and tell us confusing lies
of how they really loved us
– even though we were BAD,
and how it was OUR fault they hit us,
OUR fault that they were mad.
When days were just beginning
we sometimes prayed for them to end,
and when the pain kept coming,
we learned to just pretend
that we were good and so were they
and this was just one of those days
…tomorrow we’d be friends.
We had to believe it so.
We had nowhere else to go.
Each day that we pretended,
we replaced reality
with lies, or dreams,
or angry schemes,
in search of dignity ….
until our lies got bigger
than the truth,
and we had no one real to be
Our bodies were forsaken.
With no safe place to hide,
we learned to stop
hearing and feeling
what they did to our outsides.
We tried to make them love us,
till we hated ourselves instead,
and couldn’t see a way out,
and wished that they were dead.
We scared ourselves by thinking that
and scared ourselves to know,
that we were acting just like them
–and might ever more be so.
To be half the size of a grown-
up and trapped inside their pain….
To every day lose everything
with no savior or refrain…
To wonder how it is possible
that God could so forget
the worthy child you knew you were,
when you had not been damaged yet …
To figure on your fingers
the years till you’d be grown
enough to leave the torment
and survive away from home,
were more than you could count to,
or more than you could bear,
was the reality we lived in
and we knew it wasn’t fair.
We who grew up broken
are somewhat out of time,
struggling to mend our childhood,
when our peers are in their prime.
Where others find love and contentment,
we still often have to strive
to remember we are worthy,
and heroes just to be alive.
Some of us are healing.
some of us are stealing.
Most are passing the anger on.
Some give their lives away to drugs,
or the promise of like beyond.
Some still hide from society.
Some struggle to belong.
But all of us are wishing
the past would not hold on so long.
There’s a lot of digging down to do
to find the child within,
to love away the ugly pain
and feel innocence again.
There is forgiveness worthy of angel’s
wings for remembering those at all,
who abused our sacred childhood
and programmed us to fall.
To seek to understand them,
and how their pain became our own,
is to risk the ground we stand on
to climb the mountain home.
The journey is not so lonely
as in the past it has been …
More of us are strong enough
to let the growth begin.
But while we’re trekking up the mountain
we need everything we’ve got,
to face the adults we have become,
and all that we are not.
So when you see us weary
from the day’s internal climb …
When we find fault with your best efforts,
or treat imperfection as purposeful crime …
When you see our quick defenses,
our efforts to control,
our readiness to form a
plan of unrealistic goals …
When we run into a conflict
and fight to the bitter end,
remember ….
We think that winning means
we won’t be hurt again.
When we abandon OUR thoughts and feelings,
to be what we believe YOU want us to,
or look at trouble we’re having,
and want to blame it all on you…
When life calls for new beginnings,
and we fear they re doomed to end,
remember…
Wounded trust is like a wounded knee–
It is very hard to bend.
Please remember this
when we are out of sorts.
Tell us the truth, and be our friend.
For children who were broken…
it is very hard to mend.
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’
The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?’
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
‘Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.’
The monkey said: ‘Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?’
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
‘You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.’
The cow said: ‘That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years… How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said:
‘Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you20twenty years.’
But the human said: ‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?’
‘Okay,’ said God, ‘You asked for it.’
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I’m doing it as a public service. 
It screams
Like the banshee from the north
It cries out
As a hurricane gust of wind
It begs to be released
To run the earth as it knows it must
I can hear its pain
I can see its sorrow
It’s trapped
It’s wounded
It’s alone
Louder and louder it screeches and screams
Pleading to be released
Only I hold the way out
Only I hold the key
But dare I?
Dare I free it knowing what will happen?
I know what it needs
It must be freed
Not kept in cage
It must be freed
The key is sharp
Sharper than it ought to be
The hilt of cold steel presses in my hand
I tell myself to breathe
That it will be soon be over
There is no other way
It must be set free
I touch the key to the cage
Bring it up to the lock
With on swift motion, the key is in
With one quick breath, it is finally free
The cage opens
It escapes
Down my wrist
Down my hand
Dripping from my finger tips
It pools in the sink for a moment
It finds the drain
It’s running free now
It soon is over and done
I have freed it from its despicable cage
It bids “thanks and farewell”
And asmit leaves, it sings me off to sleep
To sleep a slumber from which I will never wake
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